The Relative Tour

5/15/2018 Gathering my belongings then stuffing them into a small, loaned suitcase I, along with my Cousin Pat, began The Relative Tour. I was not privy, nor do I believe there was an actual itinerary. After a short time, I came to believe this trip to more of an adventure than a genuine organized event.  Upon our departure from the first rest stop, the helm and the navigational roles were turned over to me and the eccentricities of the history along our path to this trip's first destination of Troy, Tennessee. The first route deviation was in Tupelo, Mississippi, the birthplace of the King, Elvis Presley. After a brief stop and photo op at the Presley house, which is the location of Elvis’ birth, we then proceeded to a favorite hangout during Elvis’ youth, the Dairy Kream restaurant where I sought an Elvis meal deficient of peanut butter and/or bananas. The history of this location was better than the meal received. On the road once again, our line of travel took us to the turnoff for the Shiloh National Military Park overseen by the U.S. National Park Service. Having arrived late in the day, we quickly toured the Park Information Center then utilizing the map provided within we drove through the Park stopping at the locations and reading the interpretations presented on the map.The Battle of Shiloh covered almost 6 square miles and was the largest battle to that point in history with over 23,000 combined casualties. As darkness approached we again proceeded to this day’s destination of Troy, Tennessee, the location of my Cousin Pat’s daughter, Melissa Templeton-Heuck where we would be overnighting. Meeting Melissa in the town of Troy, our day ended, along with Melissa’s daughter Courtney, at a local Mexican restaurant then out the 8 miles into the countryside to the Heuck house for further conversation and the night’s slumber. 

5/16/2018 As the miscommunication gathered steam this day’s travel was procrastinated until 3 pm. Our departure was delayed as I awaited my cousin Pat to enter the house from the outside smoking patio and she awaited my appearance from inside. Once on the road the travel was very uneventful outside the dinner hour spent at The Grove Family Restaurant where the dinner was very good and the waitresses very sassy. Our departure from the diner was further postponed by the offer of free desert pie with our waitresses absurdly offering chocolate mushroom pie which actually was a chocolate marshmallow pie still as disgusting. Our late arrival at Pat’s sister/my Cousin Karen’s house at Lake of the Ozarks was very warmly presented by Karen and her husband Gary. The conversation quickly tapered as the hour advanced and, after the new house tour, the sleeping accommodations were assigned and were soon fully utilized.

5/17-24/2018 The contributions absent for the dates indicated on this blog entry have been hindered by the lack of cellphone coverage, a broken cell phone, and being in No-Man’s LAN, meaning no one had a LAN in their home for me to utilize. I shall blame it all on the technologically deficient Midwest. For the sake of my sanity and to simplify things I will be summarizing the events of the past 8 days.

To begin, I will remind the reader that the initial purpose of The Relative Tour was to attend the high school graduation of Cousin Pat’s grandson, Logan Templeton, in Atlantic, Iowa. So far we have visited Pat’s daughter in Troy, Tennessee and begin this entry with our time at her sister's residence at the Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri. 

5/17/2018 We lodged two nights at Karen and Gary’s home where most of the full day was spent trying to repair my now fully malfunctioning cellphone. A work-around for the inability to recharge the cellphone battery was achieved with a wall receptacle battery charger that allowed limited use of the most important tool used for this blog; enough with the excuses. Most of the remainder of the day was spent conversing and playing a marble game that is both entertaining and time consuming. 

5/18/2018 Leaving the Lake of the Ozarks, we swiftly proceeded to the Karen and Gary second home in Griswold, Iowa that was to be our home base for supplementary excursions into the hinterland.

5/19/2018 After taking Pat to her son Travis Templeton’s house in Avoca, Iowa, I drove into Omaha, Nebraska to the home of Joe and Joan D'Angelo. Joe and Joan have transplanted to the Midwest from California where Joe and I were members of the same golf league in Bakersfield, California. Together we had an outstanding early dinner at the Biaggi's Italian Restaurant in West Omaha, Nebraska. Afterwards I drove to Pat’s son, Travis’ house in Avoca, Iowa where I was graciously invited to dinner that I apologetically declined due to my earlier repast. Pat drove us back to our home base in Griswold where we stopped at two service stations/convenience stores in pursuit of breakfast materials. Unable to locate the required supplies necessary for a decent breakfast Pat drove to Dusty’s, the local bar and restaurant, for a possible morning solution. While awaiting her response, my brief recline inside the automobile was interrupted by the demand that I too enter Dusty’s for a late cocktail. As we imbibed until the closing of Dusty’s establishment we made an early retirement into a late retirement.

5/20/2018 Starting late we drove to Atlantic, Iowa for the primary purpose of this trip which was the Logan Templeton high school graduation ceremony. The ceremony was long enough to add significance to the achievements but short enough for the audience to not become apathetic. Afterwards, as we drove to our Cousin Carolyn Blue’s house in Council Bluffs, Iowa we emptied the fuel tank to a point where we could drive no further; to clarify, we ran out of gas. We then contacted Carolyn's daughter, Karen, and advised her of our condition who then offered to bring enough fuel for the ability to drive to the nearest gas station. After refueling we eventually arrived at Carolyn’s home where we then were able to catch up on relative business then onto dinner and further conversation.

5/21-22/2018 After securing the Griswold, Iowa center of operations, we commenced our trip to our Cousin Craig and his wife Jane’s residence at Lake Okoboji, Iowa. Along our route and within the first hour, we arrived at the Cemetery in Elkhorn, Iowa, the Danish Capital of the United States, where Pat solemnly placed flowers on the graves of her parents and our Grandmother all of whom are buried there on Elk Horn Lutheran Church east property. Resuming the long convoluted 6 hour route to Lake Okoboji we were rewarded upon our arrival with a great welcome and the engaging conversation. Our full day at Lake Okoboji was spent watching a manufactured home being lifted onto its foundation; afterwards we pursued adult refreshments. Our determination was hindered by this day being prior to Memorial Day which is the official opening date of Lake Okoboji as we found it difficult finding an establishment that was open for business. But alas, we arrived at The Barefoot Bar at Okoboji which was open, excluding the outside refreshments stands, so our waitress interrogation regarding this delinquency was rewarded with each a free beer to shut us up.

5/23/2018 Our drive to Rockford, Illinois was expedited by our ability to depart early albeit the directions to our next destination needed refinement before departure. Our desire was to arrive in Rockford, Illinois in time for the Jill Muller Namanny (Pat’s daughter) birthday party at the Mexico Clasico Restaurant. Upon our Rockford, Illinois arrival I hastily checked into the flea bag Alpine Inn Hotel then we proceeded to the Mexico Clasico Restaurant. Having realized that we were not at the correct restaurant I rapidly drove us the five miles northeast to the Mexico Clasico Grill, obviously another miscommunication during this adventure. 

5/24/2018 Our earliest departure during The Relative Tour was achieved departing Rockford, Illinois for our home destination so off we went into the bright morning sunshine and the final leg of this adventure. The already long 12 hour drive was delayed an additional 2 hours due to traffic issues commuting through the Nashville interchanges then eventually arriving at the terminus of The Relative Tour back in Villa Rica, Georgia. 

5/25-30/2018 I have not much to report other than catching up on this blog as well as performing minor repairs on both the travel trailer and Pat’s home. Fortunately, I was able to repair that cellphone that has troubled me for several weeks. Unfortunately, it has rained most days so I have been limited to merely one round of golf. We enjoyed several evenings competing in that dang marble game that I consider enjoyable. I have had a very gratifying time here at Cousin Pat’s home in Villa Rica, Georgia that I will lamentably leave tomorrow.